Thank you for giving me this gift.

Thank you for your inspired interpretation of spirit. I know you don’t even know what you did or why you did it, and that it feels like a very shaky roller coaster sometimes.

I get it. I try

to make art too.

But I just wanted to say that I can’t do it without you.

You patience, your masterpieces, your catastrophes inspire me.

Make me keep going in the face of my own face looking back at me, with complaints, and ego-maniacal ideas of ways to get my needs met by sharing my…

Here it comes.

The wave of emotion I feel daily now.

I wake up hopeful most mornings that I can get a handle on the day. Meditate, work out. Make a big breakfast.

Then I sit down to eat it; and things get quiet. No mantra, no sizzling food, just me and my thoughts.

That’s when something happens to trigger it; reading about a symphony, or a free class for broadway aspiring musical theatre students, or a nurse from California going to New York to help.

And the tears/laughter/sadness/rage/confusion comes.

This is a difficult time for all of us, but…

People keep sending me messages telling me to Be Positive. One message I got today was a link to an article about how difficult it is to be disciplined with your optimism.

I didn’t read it.

I am starting to feel disdain for people who tell me to think positive and look on the bright side. It feels manipulative. Like something they want me to do so they can feel more comfortable. There are a few people who reach out to me with their messages of positivity. Some are practical, but mostly they feel weighted in judgement and fear. …

Month Three

Sil-ver Sis-ter / ˈsilvər ˈsistər /


  1. A precious shiny woman in relation to other precious, shiny women who has been mined from a pit of darkness and called to shine her light upon the world. She has walked through the fire and harnessed the energy of the cosmos as evidenced by her flickering hair. Those who are privileged enough to look upon her with an open heart shall be forever changed, and those who look upon her with judgement shall be forever blinded by her light.
  2. A group of precious shiny women with open hearts whose magic may only be seen by those who believe.

What if You Suddenly had 2 Million Instagram Followers?

How would that affect your art?

Would you feel compelled to monetize your community’s love for you? Would you post more selfies and ‘lifestyle’ photos to keep the bots and the potential advertisers happy?

I’ve been contemplating this recently. After realizing I have been posting in the same way you may throw bread to a flock of pigeons and then run and hide behind a glass wall. Wanting them to fly toward me, and frenzie over the content, but not get too close. Realizing that I had an unhealthy relationship with…

An Actress Goes Gray.

I am not my hair.

This line from India Arie’s song has been running through my head as a mantra for weeks. The problem is, right now, I am very much my hair. Maybe more so than I’ve ever been.

The ego is a tricky little fucker. I had it by the balls about three weeks ago. Admitting that I had a problem — that I was addicted to my image and obsessed about looking younger had this amazing effect on my relationship with my ego. I was totally on to her. …

If you want to change the world; focus on the change, not the world.

Going Gray in Tinsel Town: The Meltdown

I had a conversation today with a woman I have become friends with on instagram. She sent me some claps over a Marianne Williamson post I put up about her running for President.

I really like this Instagram woman. She posts lovely, honest things, and she is generous and authentic in her messages to me. Being that she is African American I thought she may want to know that Reparations are a part of Marianne’s platform. She did not know and was very surprised. It’s not…

An Actress Goes Grey

My First Month in Public with Gray Roots. Photo dates January 10 — February 6: Last Dye November 27, 2018.

My name is Mandy, and I am a dye-a-holic. It has been 9 1/2 weeks since I last died my hair.

As they say in the most famous of 12-step programs. ‘It’s not the drinking, it’s the thinking.’

When I first started acting as my professional career I was 35 years old. I was very worried that it was too late, but, after an insane series of events — losing my business, my house and the passing of my father in the same year — I decided to take life by the balls (I didn’t just…

An Actress Goes Grey.

75% of women dye their hair in America. The other 25% are infants. I wish I were kidding. Ok, it’s closer to 20% infants (18.5% of women in America are aged 0–14), but do some math and that leaves only 6% of women over 14 who are not dying their hair.

I mean, of course this is true. It doesn’t mean they dye it every month of course, and this study was done by Clairol in 2008 so let’s keep that in mind, and plenty of women do it for fun, and not to cover grey…

This is how it often feels when you’re trying to get noticed in the entertainment industry.

I snapped this photo on the red carpet at Cannes where I was lucky enough to ping pong along with a couple thousand other spiffed up spectators hoping to be blinded by the bulbs of the paparazzi.

Alas, only this one guy noticed me and he didn’t seem too thrilled about it.

For the past 7 years I’ve been wearing as many entertainment industry hats as this guy has cameras in order to support my main goal of working full-time as an actress. I’ve…

Mandy May Cheetham

“Attempting to age in Hollywood is like trying to skydive in a shopping cart.” Host of the podcast Going Gray in Tinsel Town, and creator of MUTHA on truTV.

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